Morning Heartache
by GeNo C. iDe1
Summary: HanaRu. Angst.... what else? don't know go figure...... yawn... Every morning its the same damn thing. Same morning, same person, same heartache...
1. Day 1

Title : Morning Heartache  
  
Author :Geno C. Ide  
  
Rating : PG  
  
Genre : Angst  
  
Pairing :RuHana  
  
Disclaimer : Don't own them... *sigh* no need to rub it in....  
  
Warning: Major OOC. Sappy. wrong grammar... blah blah blah and a lot more.... don't say I didn't warn you..... -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Mornings have always been like this: long, dreary, exhausting.  
  
Translation : BORING.  
  
So waking up was never my thing; and I always end up sleeping along the way... on my bike, to be exact.  
  
*sigh*  
  
Unfortunately, either I have been destined to be damned for the rest of my life or I've been struck by pure bad luck, I have not slept a wink this morning-- as I was wont to do-- nor have I for the past few weeks.  
  
Damn!  
  
And when I try, I would always dream of --- Hell!! why remind myself?!! Really, am I this pathetic?  
  
I have to be. It's more probably than not.  
  
As I ride my bike near the school premises, trying as hard as I could to close my eyes and pretend to sleep (a replay as I recall of last night's struggle), I heard him. Of all the people I could have possibly encountered along the way, why him? I could have passed by those noisy girls and bear them scream; but him?  
  
My knees felt awkward from paddling; even my whole body seemed to suddenly turn weak.  
  
Again, why him?  
  
It could have been anybody. It could have been a HER at least. But thanks to him, my bike has prolonged its life span for utmost a week since he kept me awake all mornings.  
  
Shit! Do I really need to thank him?  
  
How could I even think of thanking him after all the trouble he had cost me?! All the sleepless nights, all the sleepless mornings, all the dreams-- or rather the nightmares he had unwittingly given me (like he'd know, the asshole!). If only I can run him over with my bike and be done with him; but then of course I wouldn't. I wouldn't even want to start with my reaction if that happens.  
  
I could not hold myself from opening my eyes; I allowed a tiny glimpse for me, enough to satisfy this forbidden desire.  
  
Did you use some voodoo on me to spite me? 'Coz if you did, I'd say," Hey, congratulations! You're making such a wonderful job keeping me insane. Now, would you mind getting out of my head and leaving me in peace!"  
  
K'so! I'm even thinking like that do'aho.  
  
Red hair, tall and fine figure, boisterous laughter, and an undaunted confidence.... Those features, etched in my head, could only belong to him. And each time, I find myself to fond to resist him. I wonder why I don't get bored from thinking of him? Surely, this is just a fancy.... right?  
  
/If it is, then why isn't there a stop to your thinking of him?/  
  
It's probably irritation, nothing more.  
  
/Irritation? That's lame.../  
  
"..."  
  
I stole cryptical glances at him; he's with her again. That annoying girl. What's her name again? Nevermind.... The idiot's laughing and blushing at what that girl's saying.  
  
Hn. Do'aho...  
  
/Jealous?/  
  
Shut up! I am NOT.  
  
/Ow, c'mon. Just look at him all lovey-dovey to her. Have you ever wonder why he's not like to you? Or at least, giving the slightest affection to you?/  
  
Now, why would I--  
  
/Quit the crap, Kaede! Didn't you just admit you're feelings for him three grueling nights ago?/  
  
.....  
  
/You're hurting./  
  
....  
  
/Oww, look at them! So cute a couple./  
  
That's it. I'm insane. I have got to stop talking to myself.  
  
/You LOVE him./  
  
*BANG*  
  
Someone really dislikes me up there, or probably someone down there burning in hell. Good for him, that's enough consolation to satisfy me. Though I wish they'd raise the temperature a million notch higher there.  
  
As I was thinking of cursing someone to oblivion, someone who was laying beneath me was already cursing me to hell.  
  
Of all the luck! I fell off my bike after that last thought occurred. And more hellish luck for me when I found myself laying on top of 'him', the do'aho! The sole prospect of my troubled being. Laying (damn! And I have to repeat myself!) close to me, very close to me that I could feel his hot breath on my face and smell his fresh manly scent.  
  
Intoxicating... One word that came to mind while prostrated on top of him.  
  
A sharp blow hit me. If that hadn't came, I wouldn't want to know what more stupid luck would arise. Probably, I'd succumb to the powerful enticement his parted lips were implying, further deepening the grave that I've dug from the moment I met him.  
  
Expectedly, he shoved me none-too-gently aside.  
  
"Teme, Kitsune!!! How dare you hit the Tensai with your stupid bike?!" He stood up, towering over me, smoke arising from his ears.  
  
Why was it that my mouth went dry all of a sudden? I almost felt myself cringe at the tone of his voice full of venomous threats. His eyes: they were two beautiful brown pools of hatred, hatred directed and only reserved for me, his branded archenemy.  
  
I heard a part of me break. Maybe it's just my imagination; or maybe not since I felt horribly shitty and hollow inside.  
  
Why do you always make me feel this way?! Why do you look at me like that? For once why can't you approach me with the same-- or hopefully even more-- attention that you willingly give to that nosy little brat?!?! Can't you hear me, Hanamichi?  
  
"Oi, baka kitsune! What are you staring at?!"  
  
Guess not.  
  
Mustering my will, I stood up staring back at him with all the indifference I could gather.  
  
"Do'aho. You're blocking my way."  
  
Damn tongue! Couldn't say something nice for once... You're one of the reason why I'm having this problem from the beginning.  
  
He spat out some nasty curses. Things I've heard for a thousand times. Odd how it never fails to bring out the worst in me. The ranting never ceased as I hurried to pick up my bike. I caught him saying something like, "Don't you dare turn your back when the Tensai's talking!" and yada yada yada. Nothing really new: just that my chest seemed to constrict a bit too painful, that's all.  
  
"Hanamichi-kun, please don't fight with Rukawa-kun."  
  
Does she know that her voice sounds so sickening? It's a morning wrecker, I'd say. She should just keep her mouth shut; she should quit sticking her nose on somebody else's business. Anyway, what does he see in her? She's not even pretty. Why, girls look all the same to me and-- *piku*  
  
F***!! Since when did they start calling each other in first name basis???  
  
I know I must have sounded like some overly hysterical boyfriend; but as I looked back at the dumb redhead who had a goofy grin plastered forever on his face and a blush of epic proportion splashed (adorably, happy now? but oh, so wrongly directed!) on his face while ogling at the horrible, horrible girl, I was feeling a bit-- ok! I was EXTREMELY---  
  
Feet jerked in blind command, sending me away from that wretched spot. I don't give a damn if people think I've gone mad. To hell with them and that girl too!!  
  
I don't give a damn! Not to them, not to anybody nor anything!  
  
Only him and my heartbreak.  
  
You give her love and what do I got?!!  
  
Your hate!!  
  
Rukawa Kaede never cry.  
  
Now what the hell am I doing? Running off to some unknown part of school, hiding, with a tear streaked face and an unmended soul, questioning...  
  
Why do you hate me, Hanamichi? Why?  
  
Why do I love you?  
  
~*OWARI*~  
  
(-_-;) lame, ne? i know.... i did this without thinking... again... and mostly out of my usual ennui... *sigh* (to Blue6 - Blood6]6) Remind me never to write something as silly as this during one of our boring econ class.... (Blue6 - Blood6]6 : Zzzzzzzzzzzz...... *-*) hmmmmm.... nice suggestion, indeed.... (flops head carelessly on the table, then proceeds to sleep) (teacher's voice on the background like some distant blah...) ..... ngorkkkkk-- *cough* *choke* .... oh, wait. *yawn*. Have to edit typo.... stupid, Blue6. Didn't remind me... there, edit. Now, sleep... ngorkkkzzzzzzz...... (*_*) 


	2. Day 2

Title : Morning Heartache  
  
Author : Geno C. Ide  
  
Rating : PG  
  
Genre : Angst... but then we'll see...  
  
Pairing :RuHana  
  
Disclaimer : blah blah blah... don't own them *sigh*... Inoue does...  
  
Warning : (pause).... (pause)..... um...... (pause still) well... (again)ow, i don't know!!!!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
[ Day 2]  
  
No.  
  
This is not going to happen anymore.  
  
It didn't happen, ok?  
  
It was wrong to cry over him.  
  
It was wrong to cry, period.  
  
I didn't know what came over me. All I felt was that burning sensation in my eyes and a sudden sharp pang in my chest. I don't need to elaborate. The bottom line is: it damn hurt. Every pain in me burst out yesterday. And it doesn't have to repeat itself again.  
  
Not today. No, please not today. Never again.  
  
It's enough distraction for one day, enough to drive me insane. How can I let that do'aho do this to me? How can I let him go unpunished?  
  
I drove my bike as usual to school, carrying on my usual seeming indifference. Usual day, usual school, almost everything the usual.  
  
I was awake. Now that is unusual even for me. My brain can't cope up with the fact that I'm awake, much more my body. Right now, my body was inclined to wither away. I don't know why. It just wanted to. For sure it's because of him. The do'aho. I can't believe he can actually do this to me. I can't believe I-- Damn, I can't think! What the fuck is wrong with me?!  
  
The school gate could be seen a few meters from my view. The dainty sakura blossoms peeping up from the fence was something truly amusing.  
  
I stopped, inclined myself and my bike to a wall, then wished so much as to drop dead at the instant.  
  
Near the gate, guess who's there? The do'aho as usual. Walking, talking, laughing out loud that you'll wonder when will his vocal chords crack. His friends were also there, the dark haired man who frequently hangs around him and the others -- they're not much of importance though. I watched them from afar, protected from their sight by a post situated some meters away, a safe enough distance for them to not notice me. Besides they were too preoccupied with their merriment; how can he possibly perceive me? Whether his ignorance of my presence is a good thing or a bad thing, I could not contain it within me. Why then should I bother? Why then am I hiding? Why then am I scared?  
  
Without much of delibaration, I set my route to school, nonchalant to the obvious doom of having to cross path with him.  
  
So what is it to me? There is definitely nothing wrong with having the do'aho within proximity. I've been with him several times than I would have liked; I've survived and so did he; I've knocked his teeth off leisurely while he had me kicked on my gut. There had been nothing really bad going on between us, or rather with me, to be egotistically precise. For all I care he could have his way with that -- that pathetic bitchy girl of his.  
  
Speaking of the devil, she was there, hanging around him wearing that icky smile of her. So she was there; what's the big deal? Of course, nothing! Absolutely, nothing! I just have to pass through them then I could live normally. Viola! I just have to stop staring disgustedly at that idiot girl (wishing so much for her to combust right on the spot) as she smiles sweetly at him while the do'aho flashes for the nth time his big stupid grin; just have to ignore their unconscious yet tender display of proximal intimacy which was sickeningly cute to bear; just have to ignore the feathery touch he had bestowed lately across her cheeks as a sakura leaf entangled itself to her hair; just have to bare the look of love he undyingly bestow on her which in fact I couldn't.  
  
And I passed them.  
  
I passed him.....  
  
Unharmed.  
  
Without even the usual 'Oi, baka kitsune!' to greet me.  
  
Without him noticing me, without even taking his beautiful honey eyes to look at me.  
  
I'm not going to cry....  
  
Not now. Please... not now....  
  
Ow, shit!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Geno : ow, agony.... (shrugs) 


End file.
